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Sometimes I don’t know whether to
laugh or cry. I wouldn’t discourage certain folks from looking as silly as
possible, but I can’t help being struck by the pettiness of this one.
In a suit filed by the American
Civil Liberties Union, a panel of the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals voted
2-1 to overturn a 1998 federal court ruling that upheld the state of Ohio’s
right to keep its motto. And what subversive slogan could be worth making a
federal case?
Let’s play a little game. Is it: a) “Just say
no;” b) “Mairzy doats and dozy doats but liddle lamzy divy;” c) “What in
heaven’s name is a buckeye?,” or; d) “With God all things are possible.”
“D” is pretty much a no-brainer
given the ACLU’s God phobia, but give yourself partial credit for “c” as it does
mention heaven. Take a few points for “a” too, the advocacy of personal
restraint not being a big priority at ACLU headquarters either.
If
you do side with the 6th Circuit panel, at least spare me a
recitation of the First Amendment; I know it: “Congress shall make no law
respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise
thereof.” Ohio’s motto establishes a religion about as much as Oregon’s (“The
Union”) makes you a Teamster.
Still, I hope the ACLU stays as busy as possible with this kind of folderol.
Keeps ‘em out of real trouble. I can’t think of a better use for our tax
dollars, so when they’re finished with Ohio let’s point them at Arizona. Can’t
let those people get away with “Ditat deus” (God enriches).
Then on to Colorado to quash “Nil sine numine” (Nothing without the Deity);
Connecticut’s “Oui transtulit sustinet” (He who transplanted continues to
sustain); Florida for “In God we trust;” Maryland, “Scuto bonae voluntatis tuae
coronasti nos” (With the shield of thy goodwill thou hast covered us), and;
South Dakota, “Under God the people rule.”
While we’re making Americans safe from dangerous mottoes, let’s not stop with
religious references. Let’s go after the ones that are likely to confuse us to
death, like New Mexico’s “Crescit eundo” (It grows as it goes). Huh?
By the same token I don’t see why we should let Michigan get away with “Si
quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice” (If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look
around you). What does that mean? And what’s with North Carolina: “Esse quam
videri” (To be rather than to seem)? But if you really want befuddlement, try
Wyoming: “Cedant arma togae” (Let arms yield to the toga). This from the
militia state.
Maybe Wyoming got its motto switched with Massachusetts’: “Ense
petit placidam sub libertate quietem” (By the sword we seek peace, but peace
only under liberty). Sounds a little right wing to me.
But that’s not the only official axiom with an extremist flavor. In year 2000
America I don’t see how we can tolerate Arkansas’ “Regnat populus” (The people
rule); “Liberty and independence” in Delaware; those crazed Iowans’ “Our
liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain;” Kentucky’s “United we
stand, divided we fall;” Mississippi’s “Virtute et armis” (By valor and arms);
Nevada’s “All for our country;” “Liberty and prosperity” in New Jersey; New
Hampshire’s ever popular “Live free or die;” Pennsylvania’s “Virtue, liberty,
and independence,” and; Virginia’s motto, from which John Wilkes Booth is said
to have quoted, “Sic semper tyrannis” (Thus ever to tyrants.)
It may be just a coincidence, but it seems to me that a
disproportionate number of religious or patriotic references come in the mottoes
of the original 13 states. Perhaps the founders weren’t as confused by the
First Amendment (and Second, for that matter) as we are. Of course they wrote
them, so presumably knew what they meant.
But maybe not. Maybe they just babbled on, hoping a wiser generation would rise
to figure out what they really intended.
Or perhaps we moderns will one day overcome our pretensions. Unlikely, but as
they say in South Carolina, “Dum spiro, spero” – While I breathe, I hope.
© 1997 – 2002 Brent Morrison
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