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Schools
today recognize that bullying is a problem and some are even trying
to fix it. That’s as it should be; unfortunately, most of their
efforts are doomed.
This is not
because there will always be bullies, which there will. There will
always be criminals too (many of them former schoolyard bullies),
but there would be a lot more if the consequences were as
meaningless as they are in most schools.
Twelve-year-old Patrick McKay of Pasadena, Maryland knows this.
From his photo, Patrick looks smallish; I’d guess there’s about 5
foot 4 inches and 100 pounds of him. Clean cut and appearing
younger than he actually is, he seems like the perfect target.
Yet Patrick
has no trouble with bullies, and, according to World Net Daily, one
night asked his mother why so many kids do. That may be because
most children aren’t second-degree Tae kwon do black belts or
nationally ranked martial arts competitors, so Patrick, who is both,
decided to do something about it.
Unlike many
of the adults who set policies for our schools, Patrick knows that
the best way to handle bullying is to handle bullies. He knows from
his martial arts training that attitude and confidence go the
farthest in avoiding trouble and that violence is a last resort.
But it is a resort, so he put together basic self-defense seminars
for local children. A videographer heard about what he was doing
and asked Patrick if he would consider taping his classes so kids
everywhere could see them. The result is “The Bully Factor,”
available at
www.relelationmartialarts.com.
Patrick is
not the vigilante type so we’re not talking Jackie Chan,
fists-of-death type moves. Instead, the video shows how to defuse
situations before they turn ugly. In case that doesn’t work,
Patrick and his buddies reenacted real-life scenarios to demonstrate
techniques to break a bully’s grip so one can sprint to safety.
It might be
more effective to break the bully’s nose and let him do the running,
but then bullying victims would have to worry about the real
problem, which is adults. The website for “The Bully Factor” seems
to acknowledge this, noting “The greatest feature of this video is
that it is utilizes non-aggressive techniques and therefore complies
with most school zero tolerance policies.”
At their
worst, “zero tolerance” violence policies mean the adults in charge
are too dim, lazy, or politically correct to care about the
difference between a recreational beating administered by some young
thug and an act of self-defense. At best, children risk the same
punishment as their tormentors under these policies if they strike
back.
Many school
administrators are still convinced that handling bullying is a
simple matter of teaching kids to get along. This has led to a rise
in so-called “conflict resolution” programs, presumably, as the name
implies, to resolve whatever conflict is causing the bully to beat
other kids silly.
The problem
with this is that there is usually no conflict to be resolved. The
average bully holds no more grudge against his victims than a cat
does against mice. Bullies torment others because they like to,
period.
Some in
academia have begun to understand this. Susan Limber of Clemson
University’s Institute on Family and Neighborhood Life was quoted in
a Christian Science Monitor article last year debunking the commonly
held belief that bullies suffer from low self-esteem and just need
to be understood. Victims are more likely to have esteem problems,
noted Limber, and should not be expected to be able to work things
out with their tormentors.
If Patrick’s
solution is not the best, it might be the most realistic. I’d
prefer schools responded to bullies firmly and pragmatically, but if
“The Bully Factor” helps kids defend themselves and stay out of
trouble with zero-tolerance addled administrators, so be it.
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