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Just in time for Christmas, a
review of 50 years of research reveals the startling fact that
family traditions and routines are good for you. I’m not sure who
would have questioned that 50 years ago, but today we need the
assurance only a study can bring.
A report published in the
December issue of the Journal of Family Psychology concludes that
familiar habits and customs, particularly those surrounding
religious events and practices, boosts physical and mental health.
This might be a good thing to keep in mind while wading through the
mobs at the mall, desperately seeking that hot new gizmo your kid –
and 40 million others – absolutely must have.
The researchers did recognize
that some traditions are a drag, but Dr. Barbara Fiese, a
psychologist at Syracuse University and one of the study’s authors,
notes that customs need not be slavishly observed. One little
exercise the whole family can enjoy is to list the three holiday
happenings to which they most look forward, and the three most
cringe-worthy. Then, says Fiese, it’s out with the bad and on with
the good.
Great advice, though it might
be a little rough on the fruitcake and pearl onion industries. I
happen to like fruitcake and pearl onions, but I do have my holiday
likes and gripes.
The first thing to go should
be last minute shopping, which would be particularly challenging
since I’ve never tried it any other way. When we lived closer I
used to share this ritual with my brother-in-law, who claims he
prefers to wait until everything is picked over. Less selection,
fewer decisions, the theory goes, but it might be nice to have more
to choose from than lint brushes and Chia Pets.
Eggnog should also be
history. A half-gallon or so finds its way to our refrigerator
every year, though no ever cops to buying it. It just shows up.
Sometimes a gulp or two is consumed, but most years the carton sits
deep on a shelf and swells to the point that a bomb squad is
required for its safe removal.
And what would we do without
holiday movies by Adam Sandler and his like? I’d love to find out
but I’m not taking any bets.
Opening presents on Christmas
morning is a tradition I’d keep. This has eroded some in my home,
but there’s still something special about the anticipation of
holding off until Christmas Day. Delayed gratification is a tough
sell, so I suspect this one will be gone the minute my kids start
running their own families.
Giving is good; giving to
those in need is better. We usually make a family donation, and my
daughter’s wish list always includes charitable donations in the
names of her late grandfather and grandmother. If she carries on
that spirit I’ll happily learn to live with my future grandchildren
opening their presents a day early.
Topping my “in” list is, as
the saying goes, “the reason for the season.” Exactly what that is
seems a matter of annual debate, and this year is no exception
judging by the latest crop of articles on whether Jesus was really
born in December or if the holiday has its origins in celebrations
of the winter solstice. Gobbledygook aside, the truth of the matter
is simple: Christmas is what we make of it, as our hearts direct.
It is easy to let Christmas become the presents, the
food, the energy-sapping torment it takes to prepare for the big
day, or any of countless other rituals in which we have it
shrouded. But in the end, Christmas is about where we choose to put
our heart, and with it, our treasure.
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