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Dear Abby:
"Please Stop Me
Before I Molest"
A Columnist's
Quandary
Week of March 25, 2002 |
Dear Abby: I have a job that puts me in the public
eye. Occasionally people I don’t know tell me things I’d rather not
hear. I can usually handle it but sometimes I feel like calling the
cops. What should I do?
-
Perplexed
OK, the police probably aren’t interested in arresting
everyone who disagrees with me and in truth most folks are pretty
civil. I’ve certainly never received anything I considered a
threat, against me or anyone else.
Not so with “Dear Abby,” a column penned primarily by
Jeanne Phillips, daughter of the woman who originated the feature in
the 1950s. Earlier this month Phillips received a
letter from a 28-year-old Milwaukee man struggling with sexual
fantasies involving children, including the 10- and 3-year-old
daughters of his girlfriend. He claimed he hadn’t acted on the
urges but feared he might.
Although Phillips felt the man sincerely wanted help,
she also thought him a danger to two vulnerable young girls.
Several sleepless nights later she called the Milwaukee police.
After voluntarily agreeing to a search of his computer, the man was
arrested for possession of child pornography and placed in custody.
Phillips knows that people who write her expect
confidentiality and that her credibility depends on it. If she
believed the man was truly seeking help, might the better course
have been to see that he got it? Phillips has a nearly unique
national forum; a different response might have helped not only the
Milwaukee man, but also others wrestling the same demons.
Columnists aren’t social workers, as my wife, who is,
reminds me. Still, Phillips has set herself apart as a sort of
favorite aunt, a wise and understanding confidant with whom your
deepest secrets are safe. The publicity her actions brought must
have her wondering whether she’s doomed to spend the rest of her
career mediating quarrels over bridesmaid’s dresses.
It is easy to do the right thing when there is no
personal risk. While the “Dear Abby” franchise will likely survive,
Phillips jeopardized a pretty good living to ensure that two girls
she will never meet are spared a life-altering trauma. Whether or
not one agrees with her decision – and I do – she deserves credit
for guts.
The bigger question is why a man with serious
psychological problems felt he had to turn to a newspaper
columnist. The answer may lie in the
Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act, which requires states
to establish laws compelling people in certain positions to report
suspected child abuse or neglect. In general, “mandated reporters”
are legally required to file a report if they have knowledge or
“reasonable suspicion” of child abuse.
Who is a mandated reporter? It’s a long list, including
psychiatrists and other physicians, psychologists, social workers,
counselors, nurses, public health employees, and most clergy. In
other words, pretty much everyone from whom it would make sense to
get help. The law’s intent is noble, but the prospect of being
arrested isn’t exactly an incentive to find treatment.
The topic of child molestation evokes strong emotions and is tough
for me to cover for two reasons: One, it is difficult to type while
strangling my computer; and two, I don’t like to raise questions
without offering solutions. However I’m of the “if they can put a
man on the moon” school; surely the best thinkers in this field
could agree on an unambiguous line, a clear and easily understood
point at which someone could get qualified professional help without
fear of prosecution.
Perhaps the man in Milwaukee had not crossed that line and should
have had somewhere else to turn. In any event, heaven help us all
if “Dear Abby” is the best possible option to stop potential child
molesters.
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