|
Were you bitten by the “love bug?” Was just nibbled a little
myself. I did receive a copy of the dread virus with the “ILOVEYOU” message
that wreaked so much cyber damage around the world, but had heard of it on the
radio so did not open the attachment. I would have been suspicious anyway as it
came from the email address of someone I am reasonably certain does not love
me. “IBARELYTOLERATEYOU” might have had a chance.
*****
One of my biggest challenges is coming up with suitable euphemisms
for delicate subjects. And where better to turn for help with semantics than a
law school? Seems that the lawn surrounding Harvard Law School is part of an
experiment in the use of “biosolids” as fertilizer. Otherwise politely known as
human waste (the biosolids, not the lawyers). It may sound a little like
hauling the proverbial coals to Newcastle, but go with the experts, I say.
*****
The Morrison
clan got a little caught up in the fervor surrounding the Sacramento Kings
unexpected success in the NBA playoffs. (When you’re a long-time Kings fan,
winning two games out of five in the playoffs is a screaming triumph.) No
purple hair or tattoos for us, though we did go to Arco Arena to watch game 5 on
big screen TVs along with about 17,000 close friends. Parking and admission
were free, but did pay over $21 for two hotdogs, one order of nachos, three
beverages, and a red rope (Yes, my wife came too). We left after 3 quarters
with the hometown favorites behind by 27. Get what you pay for, I guess.
*****
Ever wonder about the difference between a mechanical engineer and a
civil engineer? Me either, but recently read this clarification: Mechanical
engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets. Strange kind of
symbiotic relationship there, but must be good for job security.
*****
Whatever else
one might think of the ads that increasingly clutter the Internet, at least you
don’t have to worry about perfume samples wafting out of a web page. That
may be about to change thanks to technology patented by SenseIt Technologies Ltd. of Israel. An
“artificial nose” sniffs an odor, then transmits an encoded message to the
receiving end where another device blends a combination of scents from
cartridges to simulate the original. And yes, perfume web sites are one use the
company has in mind. That’s fine, but if you think computer virus writers had
fun with ILOVEYOU, wait until you see what they do with this. Let’s at least
hope no one puts an artificial nose within a mile of Harvard Law.
*****
Space, the REALLY final frontier. A Houston company is making plans
to sell trips to the moon for the dearly departed, as much of their cremated
remains as you can cram into a lipstick-size container anyway. Expected to be
available in 2001 or 2002, the tickets will run $12,500 a pop, one way. And
here I thought space technology was only good for Saran Wrap, Tang, and smashing
zillion dollar probes against Mars. Now there’s lunar littering.
*****
Having spent much of my life avoiding large cities, the thing I like
best about Butte County is that it has none. It seems the sentiment is not
unanimous, a few local nitwits having decided to emulate San Francisco’s
“critical mass” bicycle-induced traffic jams – I use “local” in the most limited
sense as I suspect the culprits are largely urban transplants. In any case,
critical mass events consist of mobs clogging downtown streets with bicycles
during high traffic hours. In Chico this could be accomplished with a
strategically placed cow, but I suppose participants are trying to make a point
of some sort. I don’t know that a public tantrum is the way to do it, but if
that’s their tactic they should go all the way and swap their mounts for
tricycles.
© 1997 – 2002 Brent Morrison
|
