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In the spring
of 1992 when most of us were hearing the name “Ross Perot” for the first time, a
friend of mine found himself multi-county director for the billionaire’s
fledgling presidential campaign. I mean “found himself” literally, as his
attendance at an informational meeting snowballed into a position with the
movement almost before he knew what hit him.
When the
candidate came to Sacramento in June of that year my friend was to give one of
the introductory speeches. Wanting a few children to help illustrate his
reasons for supporting Perot, he asked if he could borrow my kids to accompany
his and a few others on stage. Having no small disdain for the politics of the
day and liking what little I’d heard of the Texas maverick, I agreed.
Four, 5, and
6-year-old children make notoriously unreliable props, so I was stunned when the
small flock remained on stage after my friend finished, then through two more
talks and the candidate himself. This was not planned but they were behaving,
they were cute, so they stayed.
Perot finished
to mad applause then hoisted up the nearest child, who happened to be my
6-year-old daughter. The candidate waved in one direction while my darling
waved in the other, laughing and giggling like she’d known Grandpa Ross all her
life.
An Associated
Press photo of that moment appeared in papers all over the country, including
USA Today. With the reporter barely out of earshot, my daughter ended an
enthusiastic narrative on her moment of glory thusly: “... and Daddy, who was
that man?”
Who indeed.
Whatever else one thinks of Perot he has certainly been entertaining. Described
variously as “a hand grenade with a bad haircut” and “a forehead vein in a
suit,” Perot and the Reform Party he spawned have become a focal point for the
politically discontent of all stripes. And therein lies the problem.
As glue for a
movement, ticked-offedness can only carry you so far. Cobbling together such
varied characters as Perot, Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura, developer Donald
Trump, renegade Republican Pat Buchanan, and prominent New York socialist Lenora
Fulani takes a lot more, as recent events have shown. Diversity is one thing,
but this is absurd; political analyst Tucker Carlson calls the Reform Party the
political equivalent of a Star Trek convention.
I predicted
earlier this year that Jesse Ventura would be the Reform nominee and the next
president of the United States. I was joking, but I was also holding my
breath. Remember that at one point in 1992, Perot himself was polling 40
percent support. He grabbed 19 percent of the popular vote even after
hallucinating phantom black helicopters and a plot to disrupt his daughter’s
wedding, then pulling out of the race and re-entering. A tad more haircut and a
bit less hand grenade and the man might well have won.
My breath
holding must have worked. The Reform Party apparently got to be too much of a
circus even for “The Booby,” a play on Ventura’s wrestling nickname I penned in
honor of his wish to be reincarnated as a size 38 DD bra and general demeanor.
Having no national party, we presumably won’t have President Ventura to kick
around anytime soon.
Now Republican John McCain says he will pursue the Reform nomination if first
tapped by the GOP, likely smelling their $12.6 million in federal matching
funds. No surprise there given the voracious appetite for campaign dollars he
demonstrated as a beneficiary of the “Keating 5” fundraising scandal. The
“honesty candidate” continues to squeeze lobbyists dry while flogging campaign
finance reform as his signature issue.
Vaguely Perot-esque, his thin-skinned demeanor and volatility have alienated the
self styled-populist from his home state’s Republican governor and much of its
press. The perfect disconnect between image and reality, a perfect candidate in
the Reform mold.
Send the scathing letters if it will help; I know it hurts to be scammed and
have nationally published AP wire photos to prove it. But this is one grenade
I’m not falling on – or for.
© 1997 – 2002 Brent Morrison
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