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I had joked
with my wife that my goal was to come in second by one dollar. Not that I lack
competitive spirit, but the privilege of kissing a pig before a fair-sized
audience is not exactly akin to winning the Super Bowl, pigskins aside.
And second
place it was, though repeat winner Chico mayor Steve Bertagna got me by a bit
more than a dollar. The event was the second annual American Diabetes
Association Kiss-A-Pig fundraiser, the venue Nettleton Stadium before a crowd
that was really there for a Chico Heat game. Part of the “prize,” accordingly,
was the honor of throwing out the first pitch; given my athletic prowess, I had
dreaded that almost as much as the lip lock with ol’ Porky.
What do you say
to someone who would actually pay to see you kiss a pig? People like Jo Weems,
Cleo Comer, Cindy Klebe, Elaine Martin, Coriene and Tom Miller, Jan and Dick
Metz, Joe and Angie Garcia, Terri Haymore, Susan Evert and Skyway Golf, Shirley
and Jack DeCoup, Dr. Lori Berger, Cathy and Guy Nagy, and Drs. Tom and Kelly
Kaminsky of Durham Family Chiropractic?
“Thank you!”
comes to mind. There are about a million worthy causes out there screaming for
funds, not to mention the cost of daily living. When asking folks for money one
has to understand that they are sacrificing some other personal or charitable
need to do so. I’ve participated in a number of fundraisers over the years and
try never to lose sight of that.
So thanks too
to Mike Genovese and Genovese, Forman & Burford; Paul Jones; Sharon Brown; Karl
Weems and Charlene Stanley; Rich and Dottie Peterson; Jeri Russo; Keith and Cori
Borges; Todd and Kirsten Southam; Warren and Margaret Kuebler; Bob and Jennifer
Kolberg; Harinder Johal; Milly Van Depool; and Holly Hunt.
As much as I
appreciate the donations I also loved the comments that came with them. Owen
Hamilton hoped that the swine would at least be cute (it was indeed an adorable
little piglet), while Don Gordon of the Agricultural Council of California and
Lee King of Burnett, Umphress & Company expressed grave concern for the critter.
Don and Lee can
rest assured that at least nothing I’ve ever kissed has died immediately
thereafter, unlike a certain two-time Kiss-A-Pig champion I might mention.
Speaking of Hizzoner, Steve Bertagna has put up with no small amount of grief
from me since I first reported that last year’s kissee went hooves up shortly
after. He deserves it by virtue of being mayor of Chico, which I would think
requires skin like a B-1 bomber anyway. But in appreciation for his service in
this effort, and assuming the continued good health of the pig, I hereby retire
the nickname “‘Kiss of Death’ Bertagna.”
That said, woe be to him if anything happens to that piglet. Watch this space.
The very formal
check advice attached to the donation from Butte County Rice Growers Association
included the notation “Pucker up, Big Boy.” “Big Boy” is OK, but Kathleen
Copeland might be appalled at husband Mark’s little pet name for me – which will
not be repeated here. Then again she married the guy so probably has a high
tolerance for the absurd anyway.
My favorite was from Elizabeth Emery and Tim O’Halloran, who suggested that
perhaps I’d seen one too many screenings of “Babe.” Perhaps I have, but
Babe-addled as I may be I’m too befuddled to forget to express my gratitude to
John Ramsey; Bill Leimbach and Deloitte & Touche, LLP; June Etz; Calamco; Matt
Connors and Diamond Walnut Growers; Virgina Stanton; Sandy Morimoto; Erik Vink
and Helen Pelzman; Tim Rice and Microform Precision; Jean and Aaron Smith; and
Bill Cathers.
And I can’t
forget to mention donations from Girl-Child, Boy-Child, and my wife – who also
brought along a bottle of mouthwash but declined to say whether it was for me or
the pig.
The real winner
in this is the American Diabetes Association and all the local folks who live
with the disease. On their behalf, my thanks to all who gave to any candidate.
Original "Kiss-A-Pig" column
© 1997 – 2002 Brent Morrison
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