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“Joe Millionaire,”
a seven episode mini-series debuting on Fox next month, should
be a natural. Start with ABC’s hit “The Bachelor,” rev up the greed
and lust, mix in a good dose of deceit, and you have the general
idea.
The show was filmed in France, a location chosen to help
keep the premise secret. There, 20 single women flown in by Fox met
a millionaire American bachelor to date their way through local
landmarks while being winnowed down “Bachelor” style. The project
was so hush-hush that less than a half dozen of the network’s
honchos knew it existed. Even the film crew wasn’t told exactly
what they were shooting.
Why the cloak-and-dagger shtick? The hook is that “Joe
Millionaire” isn’t; he is actually a construction worker who knocks
down about 19 grand a year. He reveals this only after choosing the
winner, though the television audience will be in on the gag all
along.
What a hoot. I assume the producers screened the
contestants to select only those with scrawny big brothers.
Although reality show contestants certainly expect to be
jerked around, this seems plain mean. Not so says Fox reality
programming boss Mike Darnell, who claims the network just wants to
know “whether they’re really doing this for love,” as if that were a
great mystery.
“We get to see if she (the winner) still wants to be
with him” after the big lie, Darnell continued. She’d not only have
to be unconcerned about the imaginary millions, character can’t be
high on her list either. Scratch those and I’m not sure what’s
left.
At least “Joe Millionaire” won’t be a continuing
series. “We cannot duplicate this show. It’s a one-time only
thing,” admits Fox Entertainment president Gail Berman, and for
obvious reasons. Once women are on to the joke, few are likely to
risk being the butt of it.
“Joe” leaves one wondering whether there is any concept
too cruel or bizarre for reality programming. I tried conjuring up
a few in
a column I wrote after Fox aired “Who Wants to Marry a
Multi-Millionaire?” in February 2000, tossing out ideas I thought
just daft enough to illustrate the absurdity of the genre. You can
probably guess the rest: Some of those brainstorms have since come
dangerously close to reality show reality.
NBC’s “Fear Factor” looks suspiciously like my “Who
Wants to be a Stuntman?”, a program that would have had daredevils
perform increasingly hazardous stunts until someone lost a spleen.
Media tycoon Rupert Murdoch almost certainly stole “American
Candidate,” a show under development in which the winner will
become a U.S. presidential candidate, from my “Who Wants To Be A
Despot?” My show made the runner-up a presidential candidate; the
winner got a third world country. I suppose that is beyond even
Murdoch’s financial grasp.
My “Who Wants to Have Plastic Surgery?” idea was brought
to life this month as ABC’s “Extreme
Makeover,” a reality facelift program so close I ought to get
royalties.
Not all of my ideas have been flattered by imitation,
yet, but the only one I’d bet against is “Who Wants To See Quality
News And Entertainment On Broadcast Television?” It might seem the
answer is “No one,” but maybe the success of today’s hot shows has
been overblown.
The Los Angeles Times reports that the top rated
television series of the current season is watched in only 17.6
percent of households with televisions. This is the culmination of
a downward spiral from the days when “I Love Lucy” drew 67.3
percent.
Of course viewers have a lot more choices now, one of
which is still to turn off the TV. That might be the best reality
of all.
On Brentmorrison.com: Links to related news; Brent’s
2000 column on reality show concepts.
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